I gasp as I awaken to another morning in Walworth Road. I gaze out the window of my flat. That condo across the street has been put up in a flash. It only seemed like yesterday that it seemed ages away from being built. Now the thing practically stares at me every day like a creepy neighbour.
I scrounge around for that box of pancakes I had purchased the evening prior from Tesco Express. I like the fact that my gym is only a stone's throw away from where I stay. I get to pass the grocery after I do my training runs and a some free weights.
Once in a while, I visit the East Street market and tell myself, "Boy, these are things I could use. Or not." The place tends to be full of bric-a-brack that one gets around to needing only when one finds himself/herself in quite the financial pinch.
CeX. Ah, CeX. I would always pass the place, but would never buy anything. Used CDs. Video games. Rare movies. Video game systems. Cameras. Bargain prices. Nothing ever in the "bring me home" bag.
That Korean restaurant near CeX. Always full. Tried to eat there once with my Filipino schoolmate, only to be disappointed at the lack of seating.
Burgess Park. I had run here a couple of times. Nice place. Greenery, scenery, sometimes, tomfoolery. A good place to visit in the local area.
Pretty girls milling about. Some students, some working folk. Some at the pub, some at the library, some at the gym. All with their own lives. All doing their own thing. All singing their own songs and humming along to different storied melodies.
The balcony at Dashwood Studios. I'd go there once in a while to get some air and just gaze upon my part of the city. You go places, you see faces. You say hello, and you reluctantly bid farewell. You go home but then, hey, what is home? Am I really home? Am I supposed to be here?
The search for meaning doesn't end with compromise. We only compromise because, as the word implies, we sometimes grow tired of searching for truth amidst the lies. We need to make a living. We need to meet expectations. We have to eat. Oh yes. People love to eat. We may feel full, but are our souls satiated? Do we really find fulfilment in trying to make the number work? To hell with the numbers. To hell with the odds. Once you find yourself in the middle of the wilderness, staring death in the face, will all your riches really matter?
Probably not.
When confronted with the truth that says that you've run out of time, that you've spent all of your gold coins on moments you can experience once and never get back, you can't help but sigh.
Different time, different life. There is no fairness in line with strife.
Different time, different life.
MC
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