Less than two weeks to go in the UK, folks. Homeward bound in a blink of an eye. I am thrilled, but not thrilled.
Some fool is probably going to say that I am being less than patriotic by saying this, but, seeing the world tends to muddle your notion of the value of home. Family, loved ones, and other interests aside, I don't really know of anybody who would want to go home to horrific traffic on a daily basis, a system of government that seems to built of corruption and the systematic pushing of deceit unto its people (for many administrations now), education and healthcare structures that leave much to be desired, and an abhorrable lack of planning that simply makes one wish to shake his/her head and say, "What were they thinking?" I know the answer to that. They weren't thinking.
Sadly, all the rubbish I've just mentioned refers to my home country, the Philippines. My motherland has struggled to get on its feet for so long. And yes, many of us have gotten justifiably tired of waiting. Maybe if the reasons for failure weren't "self-inflicted" and done by some in the name of absolute self-indulgence, then, people might be more forgiving. In the same vein, many have become afflicted with an odd form of amnesia. People complain about systems, governance, and all the bits and bobs related to hot issues such as poverty alleviation, peace and order, etc. People also elect the same officials who had gotten the country crippled by stifling social ills to begin with. People stand idly by and allow decay to happen. Those who care, then, slowly begin to care less. Being among the minority who care is a lonely battle. At some point, you have to lay your arms down and think about how you're going to earn your keep, and the sort of world you want your children to live in.
Sure, I'd love to see people I care about, and experience things that are familiar to me, but for the most part, I feel like I am done with all the stupidity, immaturity, and chaos that my country has made all too familiar in the minds of its people. Again, this isn't because I am unpatriotic. Like many Filipinos, I have just begun to think more pragmatically. We are always told to try and "suck the marrow out of life". Well, you can't do that if you choose to stand aloft a slowly sinking stone, can you?
It's going to be an interesting next couple of months. I want to be happy to be on my way home. I do feel a sense of bliss, of accomplishment that my time in London has borne fruit. I too, however, know that I have changed since two years ago, and no longer wish to have those I hold dear be burdened by the "limitations" which "life as we have known it", has tended to hamper our horizons with. I am unaware of what all this means in terms of concrete plans and next steps, but yes, enough is enough. Life is meant to be lived. Play the game. Don't let it play you.
MC
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